


In Which the Author Desires a Cat

by InnerMuse



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Meta, Red Lyrium Cullen, capital-A Anguish, there is no fourth wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6566122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerMuse/pseuds/InnerMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate title: In Which a Demon of Anguish Intimidates a Desire Demon into Becoming the Author's Pet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which the Author Desires a Cat

**Author's Note:**

> So I was replaying Origins and finally did Shale's DLC. When I encountered Amalia and Kitty, I immediately texted a friend who also plays DA. The conversation went like this:
> 
> Me: Oh my gosh, that "cat".  
> Her: XD I was waiting for that part.  
> Me: I want a talking cat! That isn't a demon.  
> Her: I don't want a talking cat cause that was traumatizing. Hehe, you Desire a talking cat? I'm sure Anguish could find you one.  
> Me: Oh good lord. I would make such a terrible mage. Cause now I really want Anguish getting me a talking desire cat.
> 
> I then promptly got yelled at by my violently-anti-maleficar Aggro!Mage!Hawke about the perils of associating with demons.
> 
> Next thing I knew, this had popped fully formed out of my subconscious. Obligatory Athena reference
> 
> (For those unfamiliar with my other fics, Anguish features in a couple really nasty stories in which he takes the form of Red!Lyrium!Cullen and tortures the Inquisitor.)

It was always dark in this part of the Fade. Just the way Anguish liked it. But not pitch black – no, it was much more fun to terrorize his victims with shadowed half-glimpses of his domain, shaped as it was from spires of twisted rock and tortured metal. And spikes of red lyrium, of course. The tainted crystals were the best part – their sinister scarlet radiance made for perfect mood lighting. He'd taken great pleasure in arranging them when he'd wrought himself a throne in the center of his little realm. Now he sprawled languidly, partially backlit, with crimson light glinting off his claws and the edges of his armor. He'd kept the form he wore in the mortal realm, that of Commander Cullen as a red Templar – he could have changed it, he supposed, but he liked this shape. It suited him.

It was also particularly useful when dealing with his current... guest. No hapless dreamer, this time, but another demon, who'd fashioned a luscious female body and now posed seductively before him. Typical Desire. Her violet eyes roved appreciatively over his chosen form, lingering on his stolen face. Anguish smirked. She licked her lips. A very useful form, indeed.

"You summoned one of my kind, my lord... Fear?" The other demon purred.

"Anguish," he corrected, eyes narrowing. "Actually, I summoned two. My previous _visitor_ proved... uncooperative." Desire looked uncomfortable at that, shifting her weight nervously – or maybe she was simply trying to display her assets to better advantage. Grinning wickedly, Anguish nodded to the ground beneath her feet – where there was a conspicuous purple stain smeared across the stone. Her gaze flicked downwards, then back up, and she swallowed hard. _Definitely_ nervous now.

"What would you have of Desire, my lord Anguish?"

"I have a proposition for you." He'd overheard an interesting conversation the other day, between his... mistress? and a friend. She wasn't really his mistress, not in the traditional sense – there was no blood magic binding him. She wasn't even a mage, as far as he could tell. But she had some sort of power, that was clear, power which somehow let her control the mortal world much as he controlled the Fade. She had apparently used it to summon him, as well. Possibly even to shape him to her will. He didn't quite understand how it worked – and every demon knew how dangerous it was to mess with the unknown. So, mistress it was, for the moment at least. (He'd asked her, once, what he should call her— "Technically," she'd answered, "I'm your author. You could use my name, I guess, but that's maybe kind of weird? And I do rather like the sound of _mistress_...") Regardless, whatever the nature of their strange bond, he liked the perks. He got his own section of the Fade to rule, and a lovely selection of playthings. The Inquisitor, for example. And this Desire demon that was currently squirming beneath his scrutiny.

"A proposition?" She asked, curious and wary. Her gaze darted once more to the defiled stones, then back up to his face. Anguish cocked his head, smirking at her discomfort.

"How would you like to be a cat?"

Her angled violet eyes blinked once in confusion. "A... cat? As in, a feline?"

"Indeed. My... mistress, has expressed interest in acquiring one. One that talks."

Desire raised a delicate eyebrow. "Why does she not summon me herself, then?"

"Her power is... unusual. I've no doubt she could acquire one of your kind if she wished to, but she does not explicitly seek to do so. I have simply decided to take some initiative, and bring you to her myself. Assuming you agree, of course."

"And what would I get out of this... bargain?"

"A feline shape would fit well on one of your kind – sleek, agile, graceful... I imagine you'd get to spend a lot of time curled up in my – our – mistress's lap, being petted. That's the sort of thing you like, is it not? Furthermore, if she ever decided to turn anyone into a Desire demon's pet, she would almost certainly give them to you. And I do mean literally anyone – she gave me the Inquisitor to torture, she could get _you_ whoever you wanted. The Commander, perhaps? She hasn't indicated any such plans, but I wouldn't put it past her."

The other demon was staring at him incredulously, now, one hand running absentmindedly over her curves. It would have been distracting if he had had the capacity for such things. "You... _You_ are the demon of Anguish who broke the Herald of Andraste?"

Anguish merely grinned. Desire took a step backwards.

"You don't have to accept, of course," he added casually. "I can always use more playthings. I'm sure another of your kin will be more than willing to take up my offer, especially once they hear you scream—"

"There will be no need for that, lord!" She interrupted, cringing. "I will serve... Only, tell me why! What do you get out of this?"

"Well, for one thing, I get to listen to your anguish at being forced into the role of a household pet. I also get to tear you apart if you so much as _think_ about betraying our mistress." He shrugged amicably. "But mostly? I'm just doing this because I can."

\----

A few minutes later, Anguish poked his head around a nondescript doorway. His mistress was sprawled in an equally nondescript armchair on the other side, scrawling on a sheaf of parchment. (That was not really how she wrote, he'd been told, but it was the closest approximation he could conceive of – the reality involved some sort of enchanted slab of metal with letters on it, or something?) She looked up when he knocked on the doorframe.

"Oh, hi Anguish. I don't have anything for you – I'm writing fluff at the moment. You might as well go chill out in the Fade again."

"That is a shame – but that's not why I'm here. Turns out that _I_ have something for _you,_ this time."

"What—" his mistress broke off, startled, as a large cat sauntered into the room. She was silver-grey, with long, silky fur and strikingly _purple_ eyes. The feline paused at the foot of his mistress's chair, her long tail twitching back and forth.

"Hello, lovely," the cat said in a lilting voice.

"Oh, crap." His mistress seemed dumbstruck, staring between him and Desire-the-cat. "Wow. You actually— Wow." There was a pause as she tentatively held out a hand to the other demon, who sniffed it much as a real cat would before rubbing her furry head against the outstretched fingers, purring. "She's so sweet! But, man... Hawke is going to _kill_ me, isn't she."

"I could always possess her," Anguish suggested. His mistress snorted.

"Ha! Hawke doesn't do demons. She'd totally kick your butt. That's _not_ an invitation to try, though! She's off-limits. Now, go on, get out of here, I've got a demon kitty to play with."

He left, chuckling. The look on Desire's face at being called a "demon kitty" made the whole thing worthwhile.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, I promise my other WIPs haven't been abandoned! I've been making steady (albeit very slow) progress on both the fluffy one and the angsty one – my eponymous muse has been giving me about two paragraphs' worth of inspiration a week, except when occasionally something like this happens.
> 
> There will probably be a new chapter of fluff soonish.


End file.
